I know we’ll be just fine, when we learn to love the ride.

For most people, learning to love life, even when it gives you hardship, is really difficult. I know that for me, it is probably one of the most ardent tasks to realize. I have a number of life issues – and some of those are private and are more than likely unsettling for the average reader. I am a very skilled legerdemain. I can definitely practice the art of prestidigitation well, and perhaps, too well at times.

The problem is that I make people believe in things that I wish I could believe in. I make people think things that I wish I could think. I make people love things that I wish I could love. It’s unfortunate that I can not take my own advice, but that is what I feel makes me a legerdemain. I’m an illusionist. I put on a show for all around me just to see what reaction I get. It’s sick. It’s twisted. Sometimes it’s even demented.

In the mental state of things, I sometimes think that I’m crazy. I think that I have no ability to control what is going on. I sometimes feel like I’m not at all here; that some other entity is controlling me. I have this theory that perhaps I have split personality disorder. The sad thing is that I’m not scared of it.

A prime example of this is the fact that I hate the colour green. I can’t stand it. I also don’t like doodling and I really don’t like bees. Yet, last night, I managed to make the background for this blog with doodling shapes and wrote a bizarre story about a lion and bumblebee. I don’t recall writing any of it. I don’t recall making any of it. So, the only logical explanation is that I’m insane, right?

Wrong. I am not insane. I’m different. I have my own quirks and my own personal inferences. I have another side of me that wakes up in the middle of the night and designs the weirdest things that possibly can be conjured up from the depths of my imagination. According to my computer, all of that was done at 3:46 AM. If I can’t recall it happening at 3:46 AM, then I must be designing and writing in my sleep.

You know what that means, right? My creative outlets are gone and I need to rediscover them. My mind is bored. It needs more stimulation. It needs more to continue moving forward. It needs to learn to love the ride. That’s what I intend on doing. I intend on learning to love the ride because the ride is life. If you learn to love the ride, you’ll see what I mean. Don’t care about what others think. Don’t care about what society thinks. Embrace yourself, embrace your life, and then you’ll know what it means to learn to love the ride.